129735

Joke of the Day

"[fakes allergic reaction at dinner] Me: I-I'm- [clutches chest & falls to floor] I'm gonna need you to pay for me"

"What does a baby computer call its father? Data"

"I like my women like I like my golf scores, in the 80's with a slight handicap."

"What does a Jew do at a coffee shop? Hebrew's coffee"

"What's worse than having ants in your pants? Uncles"

"My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me."

"Why are outdoor workers so in fit? Cause they work out."

"What happened to the frog who parked illegally? he got toad"

"Starting now, every hour, on the hour, walk up to a stranger and slip the tongue in. Because it's midnight somewhere. HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

"I think I'll tell my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage."