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Joke of the Day

"How do you kill 10 flies with one hit? You punch african kid in the face."

"I was eating BBQ ribs and my waitress asked me if I wanted a wet nap... ...I told her it wasn't necessary because I had one earlier today."

"Whats the difference between a performance by a female pornstar and an act by an escape artist? One is a cunning stunt, the other has a stunning cunt."

"On Hitler's birthday my company is discounting everything... Everything will be nein percent off. My mother actually came up with this..not sure if I should be concerned."

"You can't choose your family but you can choose a hitman."

"Why did the idiot plant nickels in his garden? He wanted to raise some hard cash."

"4: Let's hunt turkeys, Daddy. Me: How do we do that? 4: Put up a big sign that says, ""Come here, Turkeys!"" I might be raising Elmer Fudd."

"I think my Pokemon Go is broken, I held up the camera but all I caught was cops killing black folk"

"What do you call an introspective monk? A deep friar."

"What did the pirate say about the steering wheel in his pants? ""Arrg, it's driving me nuts!"""