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Joke of the Day

"On Hitler's birthday my company is discounting everything... Everything will be nein percent off. My mother actually came up with this..not sure if I should be concerned."

"How can the eurologist tell if he is looking at a man or woman? Well, there is a vast difference."

"What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common? They both leave little boys rooms with lighter sacks."

"A blind man walks into a Fifty Shades of Grey theater takes a deep breath and says "" MMM ... I guess I'm at a fish market"""

"ME: A bag of my favorite peanuts has gone missing. LIAM NEESON: How did you get this number?"

"A man came into a bar... wait no it was a horse, a man came into a horse."

"Being a single man has to be depressing when you think that even a guy like Hitler had a girlfriend."

"I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? The road crossed him first, man. The road crossed him first. *This should be delivered in your best ""tough guy"" voice.*"

"How can you tell when a fax has been sent by a blonde? When there's a stamp on it."