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Joke of the Day

"Q: Did you know that Clinton's cat can play Chess? A: Inside Information: The cat isn't really all that good at Chess. The last time they played best of five Clinton won three games to two."

"So the guy says when i die, burry me where i was born. then they burry him in his mothers pussy"

"Why do girls wear make up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink."

"My pics are real. I don't use any filters. I don't even use coffee filters. I eat coffee straight outta the container like a man"

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? Art."

"How do you know when a politician is lying? When you see their lips moving!"

"I have The World's Greatest T-Shirt. See, it says so right on the front."

"I asked my Dad if we could get any pets... He said pets are just a step backwards."

"The inventor of rock, paper, scissors must have been an extremely dangerous man if he considered paper a weapon."

"I was in my space ship with my pregnant wife, travelling about .95c, when she suddenly went into labor. Turns out time wasn't the only thing that was dilated."