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Joke of the Day

"The inventor of rock, paper, scissors must have been an extremely dangerous man if he considered paper a weapon."

"What did scrooge mcduck use to educate huey , dewey and louie? Duck tapes"

"I got a purebred Beagle puppy for my wife I thought it was an awesome trade."

"My friend told me he broke my lamp He said I hope you're not mad. No, im delighted"

"What would happen if you ate yeast and polish? You would rise and shine."

"I've been alive for 25 years, only a fraction of a second compared to the age of the universe but still measureable. Unlike your mom."

"I haven't slept for 3 days... Because that would be way too long."

"I'm so lazy I bought a black Snuggie for funerals."

"I'm bringing sexy back. Apparently there was a misunderstanding and I never should have been allowed to purchase it in the first place."

"What does a good joke and a man who's dropped his last Viagra down the drain have in common? A missed erection."