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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? Art."

"Miley Cyrus's fiance wants to break up with her. When asked why, he said that it's not twerking."

"[job interview] ""So what would you say is your biggest weakness?"" ""I'm pretty bad at reading situations."" *tries to kiss interviewer*"

"I was asked by a feminist how I viewed lesbian relationships.. ""In HD"" was NOT the right answer..."

"On the off chance I'm captured by cannibals, I've got a 'Best if eaten by 1975' tattoo on my neck."

"We are all part of the ultimate statistic ten out of ten die."

"[11am] Me: oh look, it's sunny out. Me: I should go running. Me: or swimming! Me: these Doritos are delicious."

"Irritating An irritating friend took a drink from my wife's beer and said, ""Ha,Ha, this is one step from kissing your wife!"" ""Yes it is,"" I replied, ""and two steps from sucking my dick."""

"TIL that Caligynephobia is the fear of beautiful women. So if a guy doesn't talk to you then he probably has Caligynephobia. It's the only explanation..."

"Want to hear a funny abortion joke? Sorry, couldn't conceive one."