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Joke of the Day

"How do you know when a politician is lying? When you see their lips moving!"

Next Joke
 
"What has 5 arms and rocks? Def Leppard"
"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my basement."
"How did the farmer move his cows? In a mooving van!"
"Your insistence on having your father walk you down the aisle may seem odd to some Especially considering the two of you are only going grocery shopping. _______________ I stole this joke."
"What goes 99 clonk, 99 clonk, 99 clonk? A centipede with a wooden leg! *^^Joke ^^I ^^found ^^in ^^the ^^Tokyo ^^Ghoul ^^tag ^^on ^^Tumblr, ^^my ^^brother ^^loves ^^this ^^one!*"
"Jehovah's Witnesses are like testicles They come in pairs, one is always bigger than the other, they keep knocking on the door but never get in, and if they do, shits about to get freaky."
"WIFE: Carol's hubby gives her flowers EVERY day. I'd LOVE u to do that ME: Ok [next day] ME [giving Carol flowers] No I don't get it either"
"I just found out my on-line girlfriend has a wooden leg. should I break it off?"
"I still wake up hoping that class is cancelled."