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Joke of the Day

"Did you know there is a species of deer that can jump higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact the average house cannot jump."

"Two guys are walking down the road and they see a dog licking himself. First guy says, ""Boy I sure wish I could do that."" Second guy says, ""I think you should try to pet him first."""

"How do Germans tie their shoelaces? In little knotsies...."

"What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend ? 'Your plaice or mine' !"

"Wanna hear something fucked up? When you find your dads wedding ring in your sister..."

"This sign says it's a non-smoking facility, but it's written in Comic Sans, so I'm thinking of starting."

"Entered a blindfolded masturbation contest the other day... No idea where I came"

"I don't want to tell an anal joke... But fuck it."

"What should you do when an elephant comes in your window? Swim."

"When is a farmer like a magician? When he turns his cow into pasture."