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Joke of the Day

"This sign says it's a non-smoking facility, but it's written in Comic Sans, so I'm thinking of starting."

"Pen A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. ""Oh, damn it,"" he proclaims, ""Some asshole has my pen!"""

"What medical device helps people that are uncomfortable looking at male genitalia? A cockleer implant."

"You know what they say about men that live in glass houses... They beat their wives in the basement."

"Interviewer: how do you explain the long gap in your resume? Me: I fell asleep with my face on the spacebar"

"911? Yes, I was making donuts and... yes, donuts... yes, I'll hold. DAMN YOU GUYS ARE FAST!"

"Proof: Hillary Clinton Will Be A Great President ""She doesn't suck.""-Bill Clinton"

"What's the difference between a group of pigmies and a lesbian track team? One of them is a bunch of cunning runts"

"What's the difference between a Golden Chihuahua and a Golden Shower? You never have to pay before the dog'll pee on you."

"If any one is starting a band, let me know, I'm really good at taking pictures while looking off in the distance."