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Joke of the Day

"How do blonde braincells die? Alone. "

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"One day, my mother barged into my room and screamed, ""Turn off that gangsta rap music!"" I was listening to Lecrae..."
"Facing charges for attacking a man on New Years Eve.. Well, excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from ten."
"I found out I was can't wear latex condoms They give me an allergic erection"
"What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? I didn't make an enzyme last night."
"Pouring one out for your homie is extra sad because first your friend died and now there's a mess."
"With all this talk of making Puerto Rico the 51st state, I think we should find 2 more to make 53. One nation, indivisible."
"21st century divorce: I want it stipulated that he can't change the Netflix password."
"Whenever someone says smart phones are turning people into zombies, look up from your phone just long enough to bite them."
"Where did the amino acid go to church? The cysteine chapel."