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Joke of the Day

"One day, my mother barged into my room and screamed, ""Turn off that gangsta rap music!"" I was listening to Lecrae..."

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"What is E.T short for? He only has little legs."
"Me: *gets on scale* 5yo: Whoa! That's a lot of points!"
"How is Microsoft like Bob Marley? I do updates before I do updates. And then I do updates."
"What is the national vegetable of Germany? *Michael Schumacher.*"
"[Chumbawumba concert] I get knocked down, but I get up again.. [whack-a-mole just goin nuts in the crowd] ""Aw hell yeah!"""
"Let's talk about Sex Baby. I regret you naming our son that. You're a real piece of shit, Tammy."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Abba ! Abba who ? Abba'out turn ! Quick march!"
"Why did the little girl eat her money for lunch? Because her mom gave her money for lunch. 8 year old sister told me this joke, gave me a good laugh."
"I never understood why Bill Clinton felt the need to cheat on Hillary . . . After all, she's proven to be great at getting sex offenders off."