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Joke of the Day

"With all this talk of making Puerto Rico the 51st state, I think we should find 2 more to make 53. One nation, indivisible."

"What do snakes use to build clocks? Metal Gears"

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He needed a pencil to work it out."

"I like my women like I like my coffee Selling for $2."

"What does God do whenever he gets frustrated with Jesus? He gets out the Bible Belt!"

"Why can't the French cook two eggs? Because one egg is *un oeuf*"

"What is black, heavy, and can't swim? A grand piano."

"Just heard the phrase naturally boneless chicken and that'll keep me awake tonight."

"99% of the world can't count. I'm just glad I'm part of the other 4%."

"Women only need 3.5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure... it's called a credit card."