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Joke of the Day

"Facing charges for attacking a man on New Years Eve.. Well, excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from ten."

"First Cannibal: ""Have you seen the dentist?"" Second Cannibal: ""Yes he filled my teeth at dinner time."""

"Relationships and Algebra are very similar! Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?"

"I walked out of a club with a girl last night. She slipped her hand inside my jeans, squeezed my c*ck and said, ""Yours or mine?"" I said, ""That's mine."""

"My wife and I were talking about obscure animals. She said, ""I want to get a manatee."" ""That's very generous,"" I replied, ""I take it with two sugars."""

"What is the bibliophile's favorite website? Reddit! Courtesy of my 32 year old boyfriend. He cracks himself up."

"Why can't a blonde dial 911? She can't find the eleven"

"In a democracy, it's your vote that counts... ...and in feudalism, it's your Count that votes."

"Relationship goals: A relationship"

"Glad the lady in front of me decided at the last second to stop at the yellow light as I prefer to eat my fries from the dashboard."