74679

Joke of the Day

"They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, no ones laughing now."

"Why don't women wear skirts in the winter? Ever try and peel apart a cold grilled cheese sandwich?"

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey!"

"I got fired from the health spa. A psychic came in and asked for a back rub. I gave him one, but then I got in trouble for massage-a-mystic behavior."

"How is Ducktape like the Force? It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds everything the galaxy together. Edit:Duct Tape I know, I was tired"

"What do you do when you come across an elephant? Wipe it off and apologize."

"What does a neckbeard eat when he is in a Mcdonalds in France? Le Big Mac"

"I had sex with an asian woman in an elevator... It was Wong on so many levels"

"""Mommy all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?"" ""No of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."""

"The number one cause of depression in people over 30 is hearing co-workers resentfully sing, ""Happy Birthday"" just to get cake."