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Joke of the Day

"My kid wants pizza without the crust AND a side of breadsticks. It appears I've given birth to everything that's wrong with America."

"Did you hear about a guy who was beaten with a marijuana joint? He suffered blunt force trauma"

"Did you hear the joke about the pizza? Nevermind, it's cheesy."

"Why did the spotted pigs run away? They thought the traveling salesman told the farmer to put his name on the dotted swine."

"What goes ha, ha, ha, clunk? A man laughing his head off."

"I trimmed all the bushes in the front yard to make my house look bigger."

"Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car."

"11yo: Daddy, why can't we get a dog? Me: I like our house the way it is. 11: What, small? Me: Go to your drawer."

"I hate when I catch a bouquet at a wedding and everyone judges me for lighting it on fire."

"How does a vampire enter his house? Through the bat flap."