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Joke of the Day
"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey!"
Next Joke
"What did one earthquake say to the other? .... .... Was that your fault or mine?"
"Nipples are like the cold activated bars on beer, but for people"
"And yet, despite the look on my face, you're still talking."
"Twitter has lost 90% of my tweets. Great! Now I've got nothing to show for the last two years. Nothing."
"Two baloons meet each other in a garden shop... The first one says to the other: Don't go that way, there's a cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssss"
"Anyone remember this from the Austin Powers commercial? ""If you see one movie this summer... see Starwars... but if you see two movies see Austin Powers...."""
"[sign outside butcher shop: POLISH SAUSAGES - ASK US] ME: Yes, I'm here about the sausage polishing job?"
"""i'm really more of a dog person."" -- werewolf"
"How are girls and jokes alike? They both tend to suck more the more strung-out they get."