228994

Joke of the Day

"I got fired from the health spa. A psychic came in and asked for a back rub. I gave him one, but then I got in trouble for massage-a-mystic behavior."

"Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines? Because eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)"

"What did the gay bar say to the straight bar? Q: What did the gay bar say to the straight bar? A: I'm not gay. Its just the guys that come inside me."

"If you show me a piano falling down a mine shaft... I'll show you Aflat minor."

"Why does no one buy food for a platypus? They always have a big bill!"

"Errors have been made. Others will be blamed."

"Man asks blonde for coffee without cream. Blonde replies: ""We're out of cream. Would you prefer coffee without milk instead?"""

"Depression hurts. Ask your doctor if maybe he wants to hang out Saturday night if he's not doing anything."

"""I'm sorry Mickey, I can't file divorce just because you think Minnie's silly."" ""Your honor, I don't think you understand. She's *fucking* Goofy!"""

"What's the name of Brendan Dassey's favorite band? The Yeah Yeah Yeahs."