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Joke of the Day

"""Mommy all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?"" ""No of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."""

"In history class we got to read on a WW2 topic of our choice. I chose the Manhattan Project. I heard it was the bomb."

"What is black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron."

"Roughly 60% of my childhood was spent trying to do the crane kick after watching Karate Kid."

"What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist."

"If you're too old to get teen pregnant but still want to see a look of disappointment on your father's face, may I suggest a short haircut."

"Him: I like powerful women. Me: Gotcha. *dresses up as a rhino*"

"What's better than roses on a piano? tulips on an organ!"

"Doctor's Office Visit The doctor asked me how my bowel movements have been lately, I told him very dark. He asked me to describe so I said, ""every time i look into the bowl, it spells out 'DIE'"""

"What did one orphan say to the other? ""Robin, get in the batmobile"""