74522

Joke of the Day

"The Nazi's weren't bad guys. And I know I'm 100% reich about this."

"Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me"

"Shoe repair guy: so what happened? [cut to me trying to flush myself into the Ministry of Magic from my toilet] Me: I stepped in a..puddle"

"I forgot Rhianna's ex-boyfriend's name...then it hit me."

"How do programmers like their snacks? Byte-sized."

"Ha Long is many Dongs"

"why did the scarecrow win a Pulitzer Prize? He was outstanding in his field"

"I don't know why I bother going to the gym when I am so good at Photoshop."

"co-pilot: ""ask in a way that won't panic everyone"" pilot: ""ok"" [via intercom] ""is there a fireman on the plane?"""

"[as a kid] Can't wait to grow up and make my own decisions! [now] Why did I think this would be fun"