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Joke of the Day

"co-pilot: ""ask in a way that won't panic everyone"" pilot: ""ok"" [via intercom] ""is there a fireman on the plane?"""

"One of the worst things you can possibly do to someone is return their text with a call."

"Pakistan launches a rocket to Moon. Pakistani News channel reports: ""Water and fishes found on Moon."" BBC reports: ""Pakistani satellite found in Arab sea."""

"A wife asks her husband... ""do you piss in the shower?"" ""Of course"" he replies. ""that's disgusting"" she shrieks ""but honey, I always piss when I take a shit"""

"Restaurant At restaurant, We wait for a waiter to bring order... Aren,t we waiter too..."

"Why did the guy at the trainyard get struck by lightning? He was an excellent conductor"

"I saw a huge seagull today... It was big enough to be a D-gull But not quite big enough to be an Eagle"

"Why were episodes 4, 5, 6 made before 1, 2, 3? Because in charge Yoda was."

"If I had a dollar for every person who found me unattractive... I'd buy the htc vive, because who the fuck cares if your ugly when you have VR."

"A lawyer walks into a bar... exam. I just thought of this one. Not sure if I'm the first."