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Joke of the Day

"[as a kid] Can't wait to grow up and make my own decisions! [now] Why did I think this would be fun"

"What idiot called it the Police/Fire Department Headquarters and not GUNS 'N HOSES?"

"Sometimes I wonder if I'm a hoarder and then I think,""No. But I should probably keep these used band-aids just in case."""

"Teacher: ""What is the most common phrase used in school?"" Pupil: ""I don't know..."" Teacher: ""Correct!"""

"Fifty clowns got fired from the circus. Luckily, it freed up three parking spots."

"How many radical feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? That's not funny."

"What's a Canadian Anarchist's favorite shape? A circle, eh."

"The man who invented PIN numbers and ATM machines has died. May he RIP in peace."

"Why did Leonardo Take forever to laugh at my Oscars joke? Cause he just got it!"

"The 5 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a 2 second dog."