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Joke of the Day
"If these celebrity stints in rehab were any shorter, they'd be drive-thrus."
Next Joke
"What do you call the people who make sandwiches at Subway? Sub humans."
"What do sea mammals say when something happens against their kind? Oh, the huge-manatee"
"My husband is out w/friends & I'm at home w/the kids. I'm going to sprinkle Legos under the covers on his side of the bed."
"I know I have 19 items in the 15 items or less isle, but I'm pretty sure the tampons, painkillers, cheesecake and tequila count as one item."
"What is a Norweigan's compact car of choice? A Fjord Fjocus."
"What do you do before deploying a tickle into production? A testicle!"
"What's black and white, and red all over. And cant fit through a revolving door? A nun with a javelin through her."
"Kristen Stewart is proof that if you're making a face and someone slaps you on the back it will get stuck like that forever."
"All this white pollen is fucking up my sinuses big time. *snorts another line off mirror*"