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Joke of the Day

"I know I have 19 items in the 15 items or less isle, but I'm pretty sure the tampons, painkillers, cheesecake and tequila count as one item."

"What do you call a Mexican boxing match? Juan v Juan"

"How many Vietnam veterans does it take to change a light bulb? You weren't there, man!"

"So true... Q: Why do women have boobs? A: So you have something to look at while you're talking to them!"

"Guardsman: ""Lady Pao, the Reddit peasants are revolting!"" Lady Pao: ""Yes I agree, they're disgusting. Do you have a point?"""

"Why shouldn't you play American football with feminists? Because they'll constantly shift the goal posts."

"Knock knock Who's there Olivia Olivia who? Olivia, so let me in my bloody house!"

"What do Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music and Keith Richards have in common? They both made habits fashionable."

"Mid-'90s joke I just made up: Steven Tyler made a new version of Dude Looks Like A Lady... it goes ""Dude looks like his daughter!"""

"You can never trust an atom... they make up everything."