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Joke of the Day

"""Children can be very cruel,"" I reassure my 6 year-old. ""But sometimes it seems like you aren't even trying."""

"I used to have a part time job helping a one-armed typist write capital letters It was shift work."

"What do you call a Russian with three testicles? Hudyanika Bolokov"

"In an effort to be sexier for my wife, I figured I'd pluck 60% of my chest hair... 3 of the 5."

"There are two types of people in this world: those who can extrapolate from an incomplete dataset, and"

"What's the difference between a Catholic Priest... ... and an e-cigarette-puffing GI Joe Action Figure collector? Well, one is a toy-loving vapist..."

"When I was a kid, if I wanted to jerk off, I had to use a Sears catalogue But now, with the internet, when I want to jerk off, I can just go to Sears.com."

"Came home to find my girlfriend packing her stuff... I asked her what she was doing, she says ""I'm leaving you, you sick peadophile!"" ""Peadophile! That's a big word for an 8 year old!"""

"I just met someone who was a steam-roller operator. He was such a flatterer."

"Wrestling Is Stupid! Bro, Wrestling is stupid. Why bro? Men with no pants fighting for a belt.. WTF?"