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Joke of the Day

"In an effort to be sexier for my wife, I figured I'd pluck 60% of my chest hair... 3 of the 5."

"What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower? A widower."

"Did you know princess diana was on the radio during her car accident? She was also on the dash, windshield and the hood"

"Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't."

"The UK could be the 51st State. It'd just be like moving in with your grandson."

"I got in touch with my inner self today. I'm never using cheap toilet paper again."

"Ask a girl if she wants to dance. If she says yes then start shooting at her feet. Congratulations you are now Yosemite Sam"

"Maybe Michael J. Fox could get a new show where his character doesn't have Parkinson's but he's a conductor aboard a moving train."

"I was mugged today... I was mugged in an alley today, all they took was my mood ring. I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"good dancer:D :D hahah Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet."