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Joke of the Day

"Came home to find my girlfriend packing her stuff... I asked her what she was doing, she says ""I'm leaving you, you sick peadophile!"" ""Peadophile! That's a big word for an 8 year old!"""

"What did the Buddhist say to the Hot-Dog vendor? Make me one with everything."

"An Asian kid ask him mom: ""Mom, why do I have to score A in everything?"" Him mom replied: ""Because we are Asian, not a Bsian or Csian, or Failsian."""

"Double leg amputees are the worst... ...I can't stand them"

"What if you had an eye in your asshole? Imagine all the shit you would see..."

"The closest I've come to being an athlete is using Adobe Acrobat."

"TIL: A second is called a second because it's not first."

"TIL of an incident during the Cold War when American ships, fearing a Soviet attack, nearly fired on a friendly vessel. Whoops, wrong sub."

"Cashier: Smile! Me: Worry about your own face."

"Why don't witches wear panties? Better grip"