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Joke of the Day

"People I live with are hiding my shit. The two most effective hiding places to date: 1) out in the open 2) where I last left it"

"What does a nosey pepper do? Get Jalapeno business."

"Two peanuts walk through an alleyway... One of them was assaulted."

"5: I went potty. Me: Did you remember to wipe this time? 5: No. Me: Why? 5: It's faster my way. I don't know how to counter that argument."

"Mistakenly used yahoo for searching instead of google. It's like someone used google two days ago & is trying to remember the results."

"If you read into something enough, it can be offensive. I like puppies"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Anka ! Anka who ? Anka the ship !"

"My friend told me he was afraid of Al Queda... Guess that makes him an iraqnaphobe"

"Women are like spaghetti. They're straight until wet."

"Dried grapes are getting really expensive... I heard they're raisin the price"