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Joke of the Day

"Two peanuts walk through an alleyway... One of them was assaulted."

"Did you hear about the new wine that the Taliban is selling in the US to help fund its war efforts? They call it ""White Infidel."""

"As I've gotten older, every time I look in the mirror I see my dad more and more. I guess its time to move out, its starting to get weird."

"Why did Walter White not pay for his pizza? Because it was on the house."

"Don't you just hate it when you can't go to someone's funeral Because that person is still alive?"

"What's green and has wheels? Grass... I lied about the wheels"

"Did you know that all Bicyclists are colorblind? Cause they can't tell Green from Red!"

"How many US Congress members does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one. They just hold it still and wait for the world to revolve around them."

"Someone asked me if I used mustache wax. I said no, but it helps to have a runny nose."

"i once heard that in the old days, you received a last name based on your profession. if so, what the hell was John Hancock's career?"