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Joke of the Day

"I need to buy some maternity clothes. And by maternity clothes, I mean clothes I wear when I punch pregnant women."

"It seems like gay guys get the most sex, lesbians get the best sex, and straight people are just fucked."

"What did the fish say when he hit the wall? damn."

"[Serious] what are the serious impacts of drinking water just after you had had a wet dream?"

"What do ghosts watch if they want to relax? Skelly-vision!"

"Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken."

"I'm not saying my wife is fat... ...but when she lost her virginity, it wasn't so much a case of deflowering as deforestation."

"You know how they say ""if you snooze you lose""... I snooze every morning and have never lost any sleep over it."

"What would you call an EDM producer on a flagpole? Datsik but not dat well."

"What kind of dog should you get a spanish speaker? A spaniel."