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Joke of the Day

"Mistakenly used yahoo for searching instead of google. It's like someone used google two days ago & is trying to remember the results."

"My preschooler talks a lot of trash when we play Chutes and Ladders for someone who needs help counting his spaces."

":* `*twinkle twinkle little star...point me to the nearest bar * `*:. HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!"

"All these things that aren't boobs and candy are really starting to piss me off."

"[maid of honor speech] Never thought this day would come! Remember when you came home early & he was wearing your bra & panties [mom faints]"

"Snow White succumbs to avian influenza as a message against the laziness of magically hiring animals to complete household chores."

"Jesus loves you. A wonderful thing to hear in church. A terrible thing to hear in jail."

"Black Ice Slipped on ice today. Didnt know it was black ice until my wallet was gone."

"Q: What do you call a bunch of dead black people in a barn? A: Out dated farming equipment."

"""That's me in a nutshell."" A peanut's photo album."