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Joke of the Day

"I used to be great at word play. Once a pun a time."

"3 y/o: I want a bagel Me: We don't have any 3 y/o: You're a idiot Me: How did you survive your abortion"

"Why did the Baker have brown hands? He kneaded a poo! (I heard this one today and thought I'd share)"

"Can Walmart be a feeling? I think that's how I feel today."

"If someone gossips to you, you can bet they also gossip about you..."

"How do you confuse a blonde? You don't. They're born that way! "

"Today, my wife found a pair of her sister's panties in our room. They were in my laundry pile, next to my boxers. Now she's mad, because I told her it was only a brief affair."

"My friend asks ""what is long hard and full of seamen"" random female says ""definitely not your dick."""

"Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar. I hate Bounty Hunters."

"Three things you should not watch being made are sausages, laws, and your little brother."