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Joke of the Day
"If someone gossips to you, you can bet they also gossip about you..."
Next Joke
"The premise of The Exorcist is truly terrifying. Imagine having a 12-year-old daughter."
"Me: I found a job! Mom: That's great! What is it? Me: debt collection! Mom:.... Me..... Mom:... Me: I think you know why I'm calling."
"u have been sentenced to 99 years in a maximum security prison for taking bites out of a string cheese instead of havin fun and peeling it"
"What's the difference between me and a pile of bricks? The bricks will get laid."
"A physicist is sitting in a bar looking glum... ...so the bartender asks him ""Hey man, what's the matter?"" The physicist replies, ""Everything."""
"'Time to meet your maker' I say, more in hope, as I unpack another box of IKEA furniture."
"Cops are raiding Justin Bieber's house looking for eggs. Seriously. Eggs. I can't make this shit up. This is why other countries hate us."
"As a kid I wanted to be a tree surgeon... but the sight of sap makes me faint"
"Her: I like the man-horsey in this film. He's hot. Me: Centaur. H: What? M: Centaur H: Is that his name? M: I want a divorce."