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Joke of the Day

"I just plugged the charger into my phone, in the correct hole, on the first try. So it IS possible, guys. IT. IS. POSSIBLE."

"I bought a muzzle for my pet duck.... Nothing flashy, but it fits the bill."

"what do you call it if you spend all of your money on pokeballs and lure modules on Pokemon go? Brokemon (shit jokemon)"

"I think I've figured out Dr Who's first name Guess"

"Just bought animal crackers and a kayak. I hate you Costco."

"I couldn't figure out what happens when you mix water and salt... But then I found the solution."

"Why are gametes best suited to advertising careers? Because sex cells."

"[going thru airport security] ""Please turn your laptop on"" *I start to stroke it's audio input* ""That's not what I-' Me: No no it likes this"

"If Gravemind from Halo did product placement... We exist / Together now Two corpses / In one grave Burma-Shave"

"What did the doctor do after he finished reading the book? He removed the appendix!"