74261

Joke of the Day

"Yo momma's so fat... LIGO detected her gravitational wave."

"""Mommy, I don't want to see grandma today!"" ""Shut up and keep digging."""

"I'm getting tired of all the Turkey news Turkey didn't need the Recep and frankly I don't either."

"Why are all liquor stores haunted? Because they're full of spirits."

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool!"

"The human soul weighs 1.2lbs. I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into my job."

"Where do shoes receive their military training? Boot Camp"

"What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods? Teenagers these days be all ""I hate you mom I'm joining ISIS."""

"""Can you read Chinese?"" ""Yes but only when it's printed in English."""

"I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went.L Then it dawned on me."