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Joke of the Day

"what do you call it if you spend all of your money on pokeballs and lure modules on Pokemon go? Brokemon (shit jokemon)"

"If a mother and her son conceived a child, what would the child call his/her mother? ""Herrburgggerrrpffffppphfffffdudududeck"""

"""Vini Vidi Venti"" --I came, I saw, I ordered the large coffee at Starbucks."

"Please, person who just said ""libary"", tell me more about what an avid reader you are."

"Why is Michael J. Fox better than a vibrator? You never have to buy batteries."

"Landing a plane isn't hard. Taking off again though, that can be tricky."

"What do you call an oversize motorcycle for pigs? A hog hog."

"Stole a bunch of extra long q-tips from the doctor. Who wants to party?"

"Always take one positive friend & one negative friend on road trips. Then if your battery dies, you can hook cables to them & start your car"

"90% of parenting is giving up the last fried cheese stick to your kid and pretending you're OK with it."