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Joke of the Day

"If Gravemind from Halo did product placement... We exist / Together now Two corpses / In one grave Burma-Shave"

"Worst dad jokes are emoticons Had a group message with family and my sister wanted to go get coffee. So my dad sent this *$ Enjoy"

"What's the difference between an onion and a woman? I cry when I cut open an onion"

"My wife wanted bigger breasts. I told her to rub toilet paper between them and over time they'll grow huge. She asked, ""How do you know it will work?"" ""It worked for your ass didn't it?!"""

"Just cause something is your middle name doesn't mean you do it all the time. My middle name is sexhaver. Lol ok, bad example, but"

"Donuts 360GlazeitFaggot"

"Give a man a match and he'll be warm for a few minutes Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"WARNING: Big Spoiler Inside! http://www.dswens.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/P1130541.jpg"

"How does a mathematician solve his constipation problem? He works it out with a pencil! = "

"Mi amigo Jesus is a great work out partner but... He just won't shut up about how he invented *Cross-Fit*"