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Joke of the Day
"How do you know if Helen Keller just masturbated? She spits when she talks."
Next Joke
"Bring an urn speed dating. Whenever a prospective match asks a question, whisper to urn, ""I don't know, Mom: should I tell him?"""
"Why do scuba divers roll backwards out of the boat? Cause if they rolled forwards, they would still be in the boat."
"Husband said our electricity bills are too high need to cut back so I asked him to move."
"The War on Terrorism.... ....God's way of teaching Geography to Americans."
"""Son, I found a condom in your room."" ""Gee thanks, Grandpa."" ""Why are you calling me Grandpa?"" ""Because I couldn't find it yesterday."""
"Teach a Nigerian to fish... He'll eat for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince and start emailing people."
"When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left."
"There are two kinds of people in this world... People who can extrapolate on incomplete information...."
"What do you call a weatherman's evil twin? A doppler-ganger"