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Joke of the Day

"Teach a Nigerian to fish... He'll eat for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince and start emailing people."

"I really want a Popsicle but I'm so not in the mood for Freezer Jenga."

"Why did Lindsay Lohan walk into a movie theater? She heard there were free shots."

"How do you reheat a cold war? You nuke it."

"What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable? Mrs Hawking."

"Teachers at the pre-school ask why I'm in a good mood in the morning... I'm like, ""Duh...did you not see me just leave my kids with you?"""

"The rotation of the earth Really makes my day"

"My mom asked for my Netflix password... she better not be trying to chill"

"They say talk is cheap but my last phone call cost me $2.99 per minute, billed directly to my credit card."

"Burger King is preparing to introduce a new turkey burger. Pigeons are beginning to disappear."