7191

Joke of the Day

"Two lawyers are sitting in a bar... ... When a hot blonde walks in. The one lawyer says, ""Man, wouldn't you like to screw that?"" and the other lawyer replies, ""Outta what?"""

"Do you think they named April Fool's Day in your honor?"

"Has anybody ever noticed that you can get salmonella from chicken...but not chickenmonella from salmon?"

"*throws back out* Back: Let me back in baby, I can change."

"Got really drunk and had unprotected sex with the cashier at 7-11 last night. Hope I don't catch slurpees."

"How can you tell the difference between a can of chicken soup and a can of tomato soup? Read the label."

"What kind of food do maths teachers eat? Square meals!"

"I'm dressing for the weather I desperately want, not the weather I currently have."

"Sometimes I feel so lucky to be American... Not like those poor kids in Africa, or the euthanasia."

"Pretty messed up that you can never tell if you give a raccoon a black eye. Been punching this raccoon for over an hour."