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Joke of the Day

"Do you think they named April Fool's Day in your honor?"

"My mom got one of the bracelets that help you with balance, so I pushed her into the shelf at walmart. It doesn't work."

"Why was the floppy disk self-conscious? Because it was FAT."

"WAYS TO KILL 2 BIRDS W/ 1 STONE 1 Ricochet 2 Retrieve, rethrow 3 Line up birds precisely 4 Huge boulder 5 Use lovebirds, 2nd dies of grief"

"I just got a PhD My penis enlargement operation went well. Now I am proud to have a Pretty huge Dick."

"Today I opened the door to the supply room and four Chinese dudes jumped out and yelled ""supplies!"""

"If there's someone in the aisle of something I need at the grocery store I don't need it anymore."

"Twitter is over Capacity! Well, so's my liver but you don't see me slowing down because of it."

"There's that man in Utah that makes cheese all by himself. They call him the Provo Lone guy."

"So I tickled my little brothers feet this morning... ... my mom got pissed and told me to wait until he was born."