71320

Joke of the Day

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing they are both stuck up cunts"

"For fathers day, I bought my dad a $100 gift card to the Apple Store... He said ""Thanks for the phone charger, son."""

"I got a fitbit to get a sense for my activity level After a few days of wearing it, it asked if I was a tree"

"My girlfriend left a note on the fridge ""This is not working I'm going to my mum's house."" So, I opened the fridge's door, the light came on and the juice was cold. - What the hell did she mean?"

"If you have never turned away from you children and uttered the words ""What a complete Idiot"" Bravo,you sir/mam are the Jesus of parenting."

"What's the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on"

"What did the dolphin say to the frog? Eeeee eeee eeeee ieeeee eeee eee. Dolphins don't talk dummy."

"I'm dyslexic, atheist & insomniac I stayed up all night wondering if there really is a doG"

"Bonnie said I should join the Facebook like she did. Said its good way to get in touch with friends. Lord, at my age I'd need a ouija board"

"Chicken Pot Pie My three favorite things."