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Joke of the Day

"*clicks on article abt miley cyruses tongue bein so white* this is the shit. the good shit which i crave in a infinite universe of mystery"

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of intoxicants."

"What do you call a stupid skeleton? Bonehead."

"What medical specialty will start to experience large fluctuations in income from payers? Eurology"

"There are two things I don't like in my girlfriend. It's her chin."

"Interviewer: what would you say is your biggest weakness? Me: [wearing my wife's wedding dress] laundry"

"A photon checks into a hotel.. The bellhop says: ""Can I get your bags?"" The photon says: ""that's ok, I'm traveling light"" - I heard Neil DeGrasse Tyson tell this joke with pure giddiness"

"Why did the man open a rooftop bar? He wanted to have drinks on the house."

"I wish the girls who rejected me in high school could see how many Pokemon I've caught."

"Origami was invented by a young Japanese child trying to hide his report card."