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Joke of the Day
"I do this thing where I suddenly become visible to people only when they need me."
Next Joke
"When you want to stop the blacks from hanging around your store so much... cut them down."
"Did you like www.flower.com? Not at first....but it grew on me!"
"What is a short punchy statement? Boxing Midgets."
"DATE: gonna grab my jacket and brb. you look great by the way ME (whispering to my suit made of chameleons): hell yeah keep it up you guys"
"Her: Prove that you care about me Me: *Takes my phone off the charger and plugs in hers"
"Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? They say he had loco-motives."
"My coworker looked like a nun today I told her she should break the habit"
"When Princess Leia doesn't want to have Sex... Han reply: It's fine I'll do it with my hand... solo."
"*opens fortune cookie* there's rice on your face *grabs wifes and opens it* still there *grabs one from next table* I can do this all night"