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Joke of the Day

"The teacher asked Jimmy ""Why is your cat at school today, Jimmy?"" Jimmy replied crying ""Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am gonna eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"""

"A man asked a genie for a twelve-inch prick. He got a little man who ran up and down the bar kicking over drinks."

"Great Gatsby (2013), Wolf of Wallstreet (2013), Django Unchained (2012): Leonardo DiCaprio is rich and screams at people"

"What's the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A Tire."

"Why does Caterpie like Margarine? Because it's Butterfree."

"Gave my blind mate a cheese grater the other day... He said it was the most violent book he'd ever read."

"The whole ""limiting myself to one glass of wine a day"" thing is going really great. I'm like 5 years ahead of schedule."

"""Uno, dos..."" And just like that, the Spanish magician was gone without a tres."

"The meeting with Kim Davis isn't the only thing on his U.S. trip that Pope Francis wanted to keep secret... The engine in his Fiat was a Volkswagen diesel."

"What is Hitler's IP address? holocalhost"