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Joke of the Day
"Q: Why are brunettes so proud of their hair? A: It matches their mustaches."
Next Joke
"What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm."
"Sorry about your lost dog. If you liked it, then you should've put a leash on it. If you liked it, then you should've put a leash on it."
"When a pregnant woman swims she is literally a human submarine."
"Well it looks like it's just you and me.. [tumbleweed starts rolling away] WAIT TUMBLY, NO"
"Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. Hello Jack."
"Want to hear the new word I just created? Plagiarism!"
"squirrel probs"
"What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade!"
"HER: You almost ready to go to my mothers? ME: *looking out window wondering if the jump will only break a leg & not kill me* Be right down."