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Joke of the Day
"What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!"
Next Joke
"Hi 911, I'd like to report a drunk naked guy blasting off truck nuts w/ a shotgun. Time of incident? [takes drink] In about 20 minutes lol"
"Rearrange these words: 1) PNEIS 2) HTILER 3) NGGERI 4) BUTTSXE Did you read..........Spine, Lither, Ginger and Subtext?"
"As a kid, I'd pull a girl's hair to let her know I liked her, but now that I'm older & wiser I simply hit her with my car."
"Some girl just asked me if she was wearing too much makeup. I told her it depends on whether she's going to kill batman or not."
"If you encounter a bear DON'T RUN. Maintain eye contact. Keep maintaining it. Fall in love. Marry the bear. Tell story to your grandbearbies"
"Hagrid is so fat The Sorting Hat put him in the Waffle House"
"What bone will a dog never eat a trombone"
"Guys, it is true. Size DOES matter. When have you ever been satisfied after she brings you a small sandwich?"
"Did you know condoms had serial numbers? I guess you've never had to roll it down that far"