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Joke of the Day

"Some girl just asked me if she was wearing too much makeup. I told her it depends on whether she's going to kill batman or not."

"What fruit can't get married? Cantaloupe"

"What concert costs $0.45 50 Cent with Nickelback as the opening act."

"Back off, doc. I'll close this wound. Suture self."

"A little boy says to his dad 'What is the difference between wealth and poverty?' And the dad says: 'Wealth is caviar, champagne and women. Poverty is hot pocket, beer and your mother!'"

"How many people does it take to screw in a light? Two, but I don't know how they'll fit inside the bulb"

"I dropped my cat in the bathtub once... It was the only time i got a pussy wet."

"I think it would be totes adorbz if I throat punched you the next time you say 'totes adorbz'"

"Is a Rhino Liner something you wear in your underpants when you have the Rhinovirus?"

"Waiter there's a dead fly in my soup! What do you expect for $1 - a live one?"