70191

Joke of the Day

"Is it called zerotasking or notasking? I'd look it up, but that kind of defeats what I'm going for here."

"""He died doing what he loved..."" I'm not dead ""Interrupting my jokes"""

"Honesty is the best policy, but I also recommend a lot of life insurance."

"Every Political Ad Ever: I'm a rich guy who's not like the other rich guy he's a total douche. *Paid for by my rich guy friends*"

"Q: How does Hitler tie his shoes? A: With little Nazis."

"What is Jesus' favorite gun? ... a nail gun!"

"What type of matter can be both a solid and a liquid? Fecal matter It can also be plasma if you poop on the sun....can also be a gas if you fart. Also can be dinner if your hungry."

"Remember, I'm always here if you need shoulders for your ankles to lie on."

"Did you know that after this next album, Matisyahu will be retiring? Soon he will be Jah-bless."

"What did the hamburger say when it found out that most people liked hamburgers better than frankfurters? 'Hot dog!'"