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Joke of the Day

"Q: How does Hitler tie his shoes? A: With little Nazis."

"if cops want to catch serial killers why don't they just hang out at petsmart and follow home the guys that buy tarantulas"

"ME: ""Trick or bear?"" NEIGHBOR: ""Bear?"" ME: ""HE HAS CHOSEN THE BEAR!"" [distant roar and sounds of clanking chains]"

"Why would you rather run into a bmw driver than a cactus? Because it's easier to deal with just one prick"

"Whats the difference between a cow and 9/11? Americans cant milk a cow for 14 years."

"Why do the French make omelettes with only one egg? Because in France one egg is un oeuf."

"What do you do if a girl sits on your hand? Try to get her off!"

"The reason why Clinton is a super secret agent of the alt right is because... She has a frog in her throat."

"Have you ever noticed the lack of trigger discipline cops have in movies? It's so realistic."

"You know why someone who's good at something is ""The Shit""? Because those who can't teach and those who do do."