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Joke of the Day

"The knowledge that Jersey Shore is known as ""Macaroni Rascals"" in Japan may just be the most important of my lifetime."

"Why didn't the gunpowder plot work? Because gunpowder is black."

"*scrolls ur TL* *finds ur tweet from 2 yrs ago.* *eerily similar to mine from day before* ""She stole my tweet AND built a time machine?!"""

"Men 1845: I just killed a buffalo. Men 1952: I just fixed the roof. Men 2016: I just shaved my legs."

"Why is sonic the answer to every google search? Because he shows up the fastest."

"I believe we should all pay our taxes with a smile I tried, but they wanted cash"

"How does an Apple Watch owner know that it's midday? It's already run out of battery."

"For the record, riding my unicycle to the bank robbery was a terrible idea."

"FACEBOOK: Hey, remember me? I'm a girl you met in college, in that one class. We never really talked. Anyway, here's 97 pictures of my baby."

"Al Gore's so boring his secret service name is Al Gore"